Track Yack with Betty Jack DeVine
2008 NASCAR SEASON WRAPUPPREVIOUSLY ON TRACK YACK
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Welcome gay NASCAR fans!Well friends, the Cup cars are parked this weekend and -- like the worst kind of sneaky cheat -- I'm going to take the opportunity fall right back in line, update the column and act like I've never been away! ("Whadda ya mean, where have I been? Where have YOU been?"). Actually, a lot has happened -- on track and off -- since my last column. In my personal life, Dixie and I have been coping with a major problem: Monkey Island, our lovely Daytona Beach estate, was nearly destroyed by a terrible flood. More about that in a moment. In race results, it's thrilling to see six of our DeVine 91/2 Fantasy Team in the top 12 and well-positioned for the Chase for the Championship! Since the last time we got together, we've had multiple wins by Mark (4!) and Tony (3!) as well as victories by Jeff and Kasey! People will never stop talking about the wild wreck at the end of 1st Talladega, when Carl Edwards' unsuccessful block of Brad Keselowski sent the 99 car flying roof-first into the fence along the frontstretch. You have to think those fans in the first 50 rows all woke up that Monday with their hair turned snow-white from shock. We just about had a conniption fit watching on TV from the front porch! As if that were not enough, a similar finish ensued at 2nd Daytona. Only this time, it was Kyle Busch getting das boot after trying to rob Tony Stewart of the win. My favorite part about that finish was the way the fans just exploded with joy when Tony dumped Kyle. After it was all over, it looked like most people didn't even start for home -- they just stood in the stands, screaming and screaming! MEANWHILE, IN FORMULA 1...Like a true Southern floozy, behind NASCAR's back, I'm still running around with those skinny cuties in Formula 1! A number of changes in F1 this year have led to much more exciting races and finishes (though, truthfully, nothing on the order of those wild last laps at DIS and 'Dega). One of the best events was Monaco, where the harbor filled up with yachts as big as office buildings. (Even with the global depression, the rich are still different -- they're rich, honey, RICH!) The F1 points leader is Jenson Button, and adorable Nico Rosberg is in 7th place! Watching these sleek open-wheel cars slice along the road race courses is totally different from watching the Cup cars jump and bounce around them. Plus, because a lot of the F1 races and qualifying sessions come on live on weekend mornings, it gives you something racy to look at while you sip your coffee and plan your day! THE MAYFIELD AFFAIRThe biggest off-track racing story of the last few months, of course, has been the distressing Jeremy Mayfield affair. The story changed so much: After first saying on May 9 that Jeremy tested positive for something (it wouldn't say what) from NASCAR's list of banned drugs (it wouldn't say what those drugs are) NASCAR then declared that the substance was crystal meth. Legal papers zinged back and forth in court. On July 1, a US judge ruled in favor of Jeremy's argument that NASCAR's testing system was flawed and said he could race again, so long as NASCAR could test him at any time. When they did so five days later, NASCAR said the sample was loaded with meth. A lab hired by Jeremy said it was not. Just last week, NASCAR claimed Jeremy had tested positive for meth again -- results Jeremy again said were contradicted by another lab. Then Jeremy's step-mom came out and filed an affidavit that says Jeremy took meth a lot, cooked his own meth and so on. Now Jeremy's saying "that (expletive) is trash and has got nothing on me but lies." He claims Lisa Mayfield "tried everything she can do to get money out of me. I won't help her, so I guess she found a way to get money from NASCAR by giving them an affidavit full of lies." Jeremy said, "She's hated me since my dad got killed because I won't give her any money. She goes on the Internet and blogs lies about me and Shana (his wife) and everything you can imagine. She's broke, and I guess she got NASCAR to give her some money," according to Thatsracin.com. Most incredibly, Jeremy says he is planning a wrongful death lawsuit against Lisa for her alleged role in his father's 2007 demise -- which, at the time, was ruled a suicide. Mercy! Whatever Jeremy did or did not do, everyone knows his career is toast. His last remaining employee quit last week, and is team likely to be put up for sale soon. Jeremy is now publicly accusing NASCAR of doping his samples. Given how big a deal NASCAR has made out of this, and how little Jeremy has left to lose, don't expect either side to back away from this fight. HOW HIGH'S THE WATER, PAPA?Friends, just to fill you in about Monkey Island: Dixie and I spent a glorious week there in May -- we even got to see a Space Shuttle blast-off! Then the day after I flew back to Atlanta, it started raining in Daytona. It rained and rained, and in three days, Volusia County had gotten half a year's worth of rain. Added to that, a storm in the ocean pushed sea-water back up into the very canals that were supposed to drain the rainwater. Get the picture? Over a thousand homes were flooded, and ours was wrecked. We had more than a foot of water throughout, two feet in the game room, and lawn chairs floating around the yard. Thank goodness for the Fire Department, which rescued Dixie and Tina, our little senior citizen doggy. Our neighbors were wonderfully helpful to us, as was our adjuster from State Farm. We're now about to start the build-back process, and we hope to be in our house again before Biketoberfest. My advice: If you are anywhere even near ANY body of water, get FEMA flood insurance. A flood may seem like a long-shot, but brother if one hits, you can get wiped out quick. Photos:Here's our little Monkey Island, still surrounded by water three days after it flooded.  Gentlemen, start your Evinrudes! The same storm that flooded our house turned Daytona International Speedway into a lake!  STANDING WITH MARCYI got the very distressing news this week that Marcy Scott of the PR department at Atlanta Motor Speedway has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Marcy is a sweetheart and does so much to promote Our Sport in Atlanta, and she has been so kind to Gaytona.com through the years. I'm going to ask all of y'all who are people of faith to join me in praying for Marcy -- that the doctors will make the right treatment choices, and that she will have the courage to get through this. A special benefit is being planned for Aug. 8 at Opera in Midtown Atlanta -- if you are in the area, please consider attending. And you can follow Marcy's progress toward health at her blog, http://thinkpinkformarcy.blogspot.com/ Marcy, darling, please know you are loved, and so many of us are lifting you up in our thoughts and prayers as you go through this.  Well friends that's it for now. Thanks for all your e-mails -- if you think I missed something, please resend it -- I had some mailbox problems! See you at the Brickyard -- Let's all meet up down at the Track Bar! BRISTOL & TEXAS Welcome, gay NASCAR fans! Well these last few weeks have been tough on our team, what with all these Kurt Busch victories, and then Jimmy Johnson winning at Martinsville. But at least we got to see Jeff Gordon win at Texas -- his first victory since 2nd Charlotte in 07 -- so that was mighty sweet! . Thanks to my cousin Amy who sent the pic, above, from Bristol. Amy said it was great, other than the Kurt Busch thing. What's going on with Jamie? The Dallas Morning News reported on March 31 that he's trying to get access to five of his investment accounts that were frozen "in the multi-billion-dollar fraud investigation of Stanford Financial Group." "Some of the funds in the accounts are used to pay expenses associated with his racing team, including employees, according to a filing in Dallas federal court," the paper said, adding that he "will likely not have enough cash to take care of his income taxes by April." Talk about hard times -- money is tight even for people as famous as Jamie. I hope he can get all his money back, for sure. Meanwhile, over in F1... the season got off to a super start in Melbourne, Australia. There are so many crazy developments this year in F1: *Gazillionaire Richard Branson came onboard as Big Daddy for the newly minted Brawn GP team, which stunned everyone by winning the first 2 races! Jenson Button took the pole and then the checkers. * FIA changed a lot of rules about the car this year, and some of the teams interpreted the specs on the rear diffuser to mean something totally different from the other teams -- they fixed it so it would fill with air, creating much more down-force. There was a big messy challenge over this, but FIA ruled in favor of those with the innovative new thingy. * Some -- again, not all -- of the cars are using this crazy new KERS (Kinetic Energy Recovery System) device that captures and stores otherwise-wasted energy when the car brakes, releasing it, at the push of a button, as 18 extra horsepower . Groovy! Only thing is, the stored electricity is more than enough to fry a human being, so you cannot even touch one of these cars unless its safety light indicates it is safe to do so. Mercy! * More passing -- more drama -- we really give FIA credit for shaking it up in F1 this year! Getting back to NASCAR -- has anyone else noticed how strange these "DW Rants" are? Darryl Waltrip is preaching these sermons about how the drivers need to be more old-school, in-yo-face, oh-no-she-ditn't, in other words really get out there and take no prisoners-- but what's unspoken is the "condition" for which Dr. DW is writing this "prescription" ("Open one can of whup-ass, apply as needed") and that condition is BORING RACES! I told Dixie, it's as if DW said to FOX, "Look y'all: I've got to say something, the fans aren't fools." And the answer he got back was, "OK, you can blame the drivers. But whatever you do, don't blame NASCAR and don't blame The Car of Tomorrow." The poor FOX announcers. You almost feel sorry for them! When they're not trying to seem excited about runaway races, they're trying to tell you that the most popular souvenir trailer is the one for that near-rat Digger! For me, at least, there's a real "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" quality to the way they cringe their way through the introduction to Digger's embarrassing weekly cartoon. ("Think about the money. It will be over soon. Thing about the money. It will...") Well friends, i wish you a happy Springtime and good racing, wherever you are! Don't forget, coming up this weekend we've got Arizona Cup qualifying Friday at 7 pm on Speed, the Cup race on FOX at 8:30 Saturday night (woo hoo!) and the Chinese Grand Prix at 2:30 Sunday morning! Let's all meet up down at the Track Bar! Love,
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